In Memory of a StarDog…Again

Here I am again. :’(  

It’s taken me a lot of time to cope with the agony of writing this post, because the loss of Maura, inspiration for my StarDog character in SpyDog, has been particularly painful. Maura was a very special friend to me, and her death five months ago was completely unexpected and heart wrenching.  

Maura

March 24, 2025

Rest in Peace, Beautiful Girl. 

You were my heart.

Maura’s character in SpyDog had many of her personality traits. Sweet, loving, cuddly and she absolutely adored belly rubs. But she could also be sassy and contrary at times—usually when she had her own agenda or knew or sensed something we didn’t. That was also StarDog Maura to a T. As a fictional, bio-engineered espionage asset, StarDog Maura had some traits and abilities that went far beyond her partially-canine genetics, and some of those enhancements gave her insights that her partner-handler, Rigel, couldn’t have. 

I guess subconsciously, my muse created StarDog Maura as a loving tribute to her real life inspiration. Little did I know at the time we’d lose the real Maura only a few years later. I genuinely believed she’d be with us for at least another 5-8 years. Losing her at a much younger age (13) than Katrina is never something we saw coming.

So this is how it came about…

A little over a week before she passed over the Rainbow Bridge, I noticed my little golden girl was breathing faster and heavier than normal. She hadn’t been exerting herself running or barking, so I immediately went on alert. This wasn’t normal.

Later that morning, we took her in to our vet for a check. That ended up being a week-long ordeal for her with a diagnosis of sudden onset of congestive heart failure! She was put in the doggie-equivalent of an oxygen tent and given medicine intravenously. Our long time vet updated us that her condition was very serious.

Since David was away that rest of that week, I went to visit with her several times during her stay, but it broke my heart that she wasn’t the same bestie I had known and barely seemed to recognize me. I took a lot of photos (which, sadly, blogger will no longer let me share here), and spent about a half hour each visit just petting, holding and talking to her. My only comfort was that she did seem to be improving, little-by-little. 

Finally, we got the news we’d been praying for — Maura had improved markedly over the course of the week, and could now go home—along with four RXs that she needed to be given daily. That was Friday.

We had a wonderful weekend with Maura and her cohorts—her daughter, Cassie — also her doggie bestie, Luna (both of them were StarDog inspirations), her youngest doxie pack-member, Zoey (who will be the star of a future story some day), and Chloe, a recent Chihuahua adoptee. It was heartwarming how Cassie stayed right by her side to cuddle with her, and how Luna and Zoey often checked up on her with kisses and snuggles. And, of course, she got tons of attention from me and from David, who was now home again. We were all so happy and relieved to have this very special girl back home and getting stronger. It was a heartfelt homecoming and a very special weekend.

But very late Sunday night (or more accurately early Monday morning), Maura woke me with whimpering, and was displaying restlessness and anxiety.  I got up with her and held her in my lap as we rested on the couch, but by morning her breathing was getting heavier and we could see things were getting serious again. David made a call to our vet to request bringing her in for urgent care, and by the time they called back and we bundled her into the car to make the 10 mile trip, she was in distress and panting and her tongue was turning blue!

Once at the vet, they rushed her into the doggie oxygen tent and told us they’d be in touch. We had several contacts with the office back-and-forth over the next few hours until we got the message in early afternoon that we were dreading.  “Maura is crashing. I’m so sorry!” A few minutes later we got the news that brought our world crashing down. Our beautiful Maura had passed.

We laid our baby girl to rest on our ranch near the garden in a spot with a beautiful view of the valley to the East and the mountains to the West. She is buried beside Katrina, the StarDog buddy who we’d lost a few years before. Another longhaired dachshund from many years before, Scarlet, lays nearby.

My heart felt like lead, knowing she would miss another summer and stretching out in the grass on the courtyard to soak up the sun like she loved to do. Our little sunbunny. Or that she would no longer spend time dozing in the shade of the Black Locust trees when the days grew hot. Maura’s siesta time.

She had always loved Christmas, especially all the decorations and unwrapping presents and romping through the discarded paper and bows. She got so sad every year when we took the tree down, that I promised her last year I’d put it up extra early this year so she could enjoy it longer. She’ll miss that, too. :’(

We will forever be grateful for the nine years we had with Maura—and that very special gift from above of one last weekend with her. We are also eternally thankful for her legacy—her daughter, Cassie—who seems to be taking after her mom more-and-more every day. A crystal memorial with Maura’s image sits on our buffet now—a very special gift from David—and serves as a nightlight in the darkness—a reminder of how much she lit up our lives while she was with us. 

I stumbled upon a vintage ornament of a longhaired dachshund wearing a stocking cap and wrapped up in ribbons and bows on eBay and had to get it. It will go on our tree this year in special memory of our Maura and the season she loved so much. I have to believe she’ll be with us in spirit to share another Christmas.

I hope we’ll all have a great and joyful reunion someday when it’s our time to join her. Until then, even though this very special friend is deeply missed, the love lingers as a reminder of our time together on this Earth. 

We’ll miss you so much, little Star Dog. <3

Related post:

In Memory of a StarDog (Katrina) from July 2022

https://spacefreighters.blogspot.com/2022/07/in-memory-of-stardog.html

Great Advice from a Fellow Author

 I got some great advice today (well, probably me and several hundred other authors) that I wanted to share. 

Paraphrasing, it went something like this:

Don't be afraid to fall in love with writing (again). Remember why you started to write? Remember why you still write? If you're struggling, find a new idea you're passionate about, let go of your fears, and pour your heart and soul into this new book. Try to release expectations for this book and just savor and enjoy the writing process and the amazing new story. Relive the excitement and enthusiasm that got you writing to begin with. 

This is seemed to be a highly respected opinion from out-of-the-blue that reinforces my decision to step back and dive into the trilogy-on-the-backburner-of-my-mind-for-many-years. To bring back to life the saga that first got me enthused about writing professionally and publishing, and yet, I just never seemed to be able to get that first novel to the publishing stage, in spite of it's nomination for a Golden Heart Award (Remember those?) and multiple writing competition wins a decade ago. 

This story (in three main parts) is a sweeping family saga...in spaaaaaaace. But it's about so much more than that. It takes great swaths of history and myth from here on Earth and creates the hopefully convincing worldbuilding for the trilogy, which essentially follows three generations in a time of great change. 

How far have I gotten?

Well, to be honest, not far...on paper (er...computer), but I've written multiple scenes in the current project as I developed the plot, motivations, conflict and characters in my head. The story for Gen One is written, but just needs a bit more editing and scrubbing before it's publishable. But I'm going to wait on that and publish them all in close succession -- provided I decide to traditionally publish them at all. 

Gen Two is the story I'm mentally developing now, which will be followed by Gen Three. (This are generic WIP tags for titles I'm not yet ready to announce.) 

Let me share just a tiny thread of a scene -- one that's actually written but not yet revised, refined or edited -- to give you a taste of the Gen Two story. Yes, it's Science Fiction -- or Space Adventure, as I prefer to label it -- but like many sci-fi settings, it probably invokes the language and social etiquette of a past age. (More on that later.) 

Tucked into the midst of her escort, Shanna approached a group of men, all clad in uniforms or festive finery. Her eyes were drawn to a man who wore an imposing uniform of pristine white, with golden stripes adorning the sleeves of an elegant tailed jacket, his trousers delineated by a wide gamble stripe. His light hair, thick and cut in a taper, just brushed the back of his uniform’s collar accentuating broad shoulders. An ornate scabbard gleamed at his side, the grip of the sheathed sword decorated in cascading scarlet tassels. 

A commander of the King’s Guard, maybe? Or even a captain?

As her escort drew closer, he cast a glance back over his shoulder to inspect the new arrivals, and spying her, his whole body pivoted to follow his gaze. 

Shanna stopped mid-step, drawing a quick breath. “Blue!” she whispered. His hair was shorter, his bearing more regal than the friend she'd come to know. But how had she not recognized him?

His aqua eyes widened as he took her in, lavender gown and all.

“My Lady,” he replied, and after shaking off his surprise, moved closer. “You are here in time for my reception.”

“Your reception?”

In answer, he made a sweeping gesture to the grand entrance to the Royal Quarters, where she caught sight of the large crowd milling in the main hall. A reception for what? Surely not his wedding!

“Our hunting party returned just a few hours ago.” Shanna nodded to Macalla, “My Confidante told me there was a celebration I must not miss.”

Nakondus tilted his head. “Indeed.” He gave Macalla a quick glance and a slight smile. “I am beyond pleased you decided to attend.” 

“I’m a little uncertain what it is I’m attending. You said…your reception?”

Nakondus dipped his chin slightly. “My Recognition Ceremony was held this afternoon. By tradition, a grand reception always follows.”

Shanna relaxed with some relief. “Recognition Ceremony. I don’t know what that means.” 

 

As always, I'd love to hear any thoughts or feedback on this "enthusiasm-booster project." :)

Take care and have a great week as you prepare for the holiday season.

Laurie

Aphantasia - What the Heck?

I teased this in my last blog and promised to come back to comment on it, so... Ta-da!

I recently read about this malady and thought to myself *Horrors!* Aphantasia is the inability to "see" images in thought. Such as, if someone says to you "imagine a tree" you wouldn't be able to summon the image of a tree--or its setting, or its leaves or bark--in your mind, only some subject-specific words about trees in general. 

Wait! Whut???

The author further went on to explain how he also couldn't "hear" music or sounds in his thoughts. You know the term "earworm" -- that favorite song that you just can't get out of your head? Yeah. Doesn't happen. The author mentioned the Star Wars theme. When I think "Star Wars theme," I can absolutely hear those iconic first notes of an inspiring overture like I was the third chair clarinet inside my mind. It must be horrible to not have the ability to do that. And yet, he was quite far along in his life before he figured out he was lacking in the sensory imagination department.

Yet, he still was able to successfully write.

How?  I mean....HOW?

He explains in his post. It has something to do with what he calls "grey words."

I found it utterly fascinating.

Obviously, I don't have aphantasia (thank the Good Lord!) because when I write, or pre-write, or work on basic story context or scene ideas, I do it in my head in living technicolor and stereo sound. When I'm head-writing a scene in my current work, I can see the deep aquamarine eyes and subtle smile of Nakondus. I can hear his voice. I can picture Shanna's shining red hair and confused expression when she poses a question to him. It's a mind-movie for me. I couldn't even begin to fathom how someone could write without this capability. And yet the author talking about discovering this handicap...well, let's just say he's done a lot for an imagination-challenged soul.

I won't regurgitate his lengthy FB post here (which included texting snippets of his dawning revelation with other peers and a fascinating dialogue on how his mind does work), but I will drop the link below if you'd like to check out all his musing on the surprising revelation. Be sure to check out his credentials at the end. (Um...wow.)

Aphantasia: How it Feels to be Blind in your Mind

I'd like to segway that into a note that this blog has now developed its own form of aphantasia. It seems I can no longer post images, for some unknown reason. I apologize profusely, since I love to break up the long blocks of text by illustrating with related pictures, but that's no longer possible. (And getting help from Blogger...good luck with that.)  So sadly, this "blog" is going to be a bit bland going forward, though I will keep working the problem -- like Mark Watney in a Martian dust storm.

Hope you have a day filled with vibrant thoughts. I'll be Bach. 

I've Resurfaced -- Hiya!

So...new post. SURPRISE! I know it's been months since I've created any new content for this blog, but that's an indication of where my mind has been. Namely...elsewhere.

To just scratch the surface, here are three of the reasons. 

Lack of Focus

My mind needed a mental break from the tedious and overwhelming fire hose of information I needed to process simply to be an author. The industry has changed a lot and I've been left in the dust. Information such as how I needed to target my ads and all the lovely landmines FB was throwing at authors (ugh!), the art and mysticism of how to create effective keywords (gah!), how I had to have a brand and before I could determine what my brand was I needed to do semesters of soul-searching and honing of my product (no thanks!), plus other nefarious and annoying self-education requirements that I'd probably need to get the equivalent of a bachelors degree to process.. Needless to say, it left me creatively bereft. Dammit Jim, I'm a writer not an advertising agency. And I just want to write! 

It seems I no longer have the desire nor the mental fortitude to spend the lion's share of my time trying to market my work and sell more books. I need to do something different. I'm just not sure what "different" at this point in my career. 

Also...to further add to my distraction, our horse won the Preakness this year (not to mention a couple of other major races that most of you would not know or care about because they weren't Triple Crown races). That's a subject and a topic that doesn't really fit this blog, so I won't go into detail, but let me tell you -- it was a MAJOR life event! It impacted me and my spouse and our large partnership group in ways I can't begin to describe. It was a dream come true that I had wished for since I was six years old, but didn't realize the impossibility of my wish at that young age. So yeah, never, ever, in a million years did I think it would happen to us. But it did. And....well, WOW. Just WOW! I'm a writer but I can't even communicate what it meant to us, what the horse means to us, what it meant to have a legendary trainer training him, and a jockey so new to the sport he hadn't even ridden a horse four years ago and to watch him cross that finish line as a newly minted classic winner. Being a part of the partnership, the horse, the team, the experience -- all of it -- was a huge blessing from God. I must give credit where credit is due. 

But I digress...  

Lack of Enthusiasm

I've also been enormously un-motivated because I seem to be having a struggle of the soul over what I'm now inspired to write, which is not books filled with faith-challenged and Godless characters. The last two years have shown me that the Almighty is at work in my life in a multitude of ways, and my past books are a bit (to say the least) dissident to my current state of faith. My dilemma is that I'm well into a lengthy series of books and audience-wise, I'd be changing horses mid-stream. (There's that horse theme again). 

The Roadblock of "Business"

I'm now at the point where my next four books are large volumes that will cost me far more to have fully edited than they may ever earn back. (We're talking thousands and thousands. And no, the vast majority of writers don't make that much on their books.) So...I've been thinking...if I'm not going to regain my expenses maybe I should just self-edit and publish them as free works online. I'm still wrestling with all the ramifications of that decision, and what to do with my previously published work if I do go forward. I'm at the "still computing" phase of that concept. And it's boggling. Stay tuned. 

I'll try to be a lot better about communication via this blog, and throwing some different content out there -- progress, excerpts, random thoughts, etc. I'd ask for opinions or feedback, but no one seems to comment on blogs anymore so I'll skip that part (though you're always welcome to comment should you wish) [ ::: Insert begging emoji that doesn't exist here ::: ] 

Thanks for listening to my info dump. (Thank goodness I try to avoid this cardinal sin in books, huh?)

I'm working on a blog about Aphantasia that shocked me. Stop back to see what that's all about. 

Have a great week!