Friday, November 6, 2020

COVID STRIKES CLOSE TO HOME

Last week the coronavirus pandemic in the United States claimed another victim. And, this time, the loss was intensely personal to me and my family. My father-in-law, Paul Frelick, age 95, contracted the disease as part of an outbreak in his assisted living center here in North Carolina, despite all the precautions the staff had taken to prevent such a health disaster. He was taken from us in little more than a week. Our only consolation was that, given Paul’s advanced health directives, the fight was brief and the end peaceful.

Paul Frelick, right, in better days with son Graeme.

One of the often-told stories in our family is that I knew my father-in-law long before I ever met my husband. Paul was my faculty advisor at Beloit College in Wisconsin, as part of his duties as professor and head of the World Affairs Center there. He often invited students over to his house just off campus for get-togethers, so I’d met most of his family before I ever met my future husband. Paul always joked that he regretted he never got the chance to play matchmaker for his son and his independent-minded student. We found our way to each other on our own.

As an ordained Presbyterian minister, though, he did serve as pastor at our wedding in 1976, a year after we graduated. He did the same for my daughter Jessie and her husband in 2005 and for lots of other family members in the years in between. He was always glad to perform that service, bringing people together on a joyous occasion.

Before and after his position at Beloit, most of Paul’s work life was spent in a similar kind of service, bringing different groups together in a mutual effort to build social justice. He worked with factory labor in post-WWII Paris; directed the John Knox Ecumenical Conference/Student Center in Geneva; was a local chapter director of the National Conference of Christians and Jews in Louisville, Kentucky; served as a Presbyterian mission educator in Cameroon and Lesotho; and finally as an educator at Warren Wilson College in North Carolina.

Even after he had stopped working, he was active in his Black Mountain retirement community, interviewing new residents for articles in the newsletter and meeting with a men’s group. He liked to say—and it was certainly true from my observation—that he had “failed retirement” several times.

Paul leaves behind his beloved wife of 53 years, Ellenor, and three children from an earlier marriage (my husband Graeme, brother Andy and sister Nancy). His family legacy also includes six grandchildren (including our two daughters) and six great-grandchildren (including our three grandchildren). We will all miss him profoundly.

Sadly, Donna

9 comments:

  1. Thinking of this wonderful man's family and the legacy he has left. He truly will be missed.

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  2. He was a wonderful man and lived his life well and was a positive force in the world.

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  3. Donna, His son is a testament to the kind of person he was. 95 years of service to his community is an accomplishment many would be happy to achieve a 10th of.

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  4. Thank you, John and Joyce. Yes, we can all aspire to the kind of involvement and commitment Paul showed in his life.

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  5. Donna, I'm so very sorry to hear of your family's loss. Your father-in-law sounded like a truly dynamic person and I'm sure he'll be very missed by family, friends, colleagues and former students. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers during this very difficult time.

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  6. Thank you, Laurie. He was, indeed, a special person.

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  7. Donna, please accept my condolences for your family's loss. You wrote a beautiful tribute. Sending you prayers and hugs, my friend.

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