Writers, Bullies and Heroes

I’m a trained martial artist with almost 30 years of experience and I’m proud to say I’ve never been called upon to defend myself or others with my skills. Something about the confidence my training gives me allows me to follow the first rule of self-defense, which is to avoid the situation. If I find myself in danger, I’ve learned to talk my way out of it, or walk my way out of it, before I start throwing punches.

Or slaps, as the case may be. In case you’ve been on some far-off planet in another galaxy, actor Will Smith (of INDEPENDENCE DAY and MEN IN BLACK fame, among others) caused a sensation last Sunday night by defending his wife Jada Pinkett-Smith in a manner more appropriate to the movies than to real life. He smacked Chris Rock in the face onstage at the Dolby Theater in front of an audience of his Hollywood peers and a worldwide audience of millions. He then followed it up with a shouted warning to “keep my wife’s name out your @#$% mouth!” Twice.

What could have occasioned such a display of street justice? Again, in case you missed it, Chris saw fit to mock Jada’s shaved head in a tasteless joke about a remake of Demi Moore’s G.I. JANE movie. Since Jada has been very open about her struggle with the scalp condition alopecia, which is the cause for her very short hair, Chris was mocking a disability, one which affects millions of primarily Black women. Which was clearly wrong. Will’s attempt to shield his wife from Chris’s bullying led to a violent response, which was also wrong and has had innumerable consequences for him and his career, no doubt. I’m sure he’s wishing he had one of those memory-blanking pens from MEN IN BLACK right about now.

His unthinking action took away from Questlove’s triumphant moment as the winner of the Best Documentary Film Oscar for SUMMER OF SOUL, which Chris Rock was supposed to be onstage to introduce. (Chris marred that moment with another tasteless joke about the only people who watched documentaries being “stoned on the couch.” Nice. There’s a reason Chris is no longer invited to host the Oscars.)

Worse, the whole kerfuffle took away from Will’s own well-deserved moment in the spotlight for winning the Best Actor Oscar in the role of Richard Williams in KING RICHARD. It’s too bad that win will always bear an asterisk created by his violent response to Chris Rock’s bullying big mouth.

Hollywood's solution: Ralphie deals with a bully.

It’s supremely ironic that this incident took place at an event honoring Hollywood and a culture that glorifies violence. A man leaping up to defend his disabled wife with his, uh, palms is the stuff of Hollywood legend, after all. It’s pretty rare when the movies celebrate the quiet types, the ones who can walk or talk their way out of a situation. Take THE MAN WHO SHOT LIBERTY VALANCE (1962), for example, a classic of the Western film genre. Jimmy Stewart talks a great line throughout the film about how violence isn’t the answer to Lee Marvin’s bullying. He restrains John Wayne from taking the villain out several times. But in the end, Jimmy is the one who shoots the bully! Audiences cheer!

Then there is one of my favorite Christmas movies, A CHRISTMAS STORY (1983). Our hero, Ralphie, can only take so much from the school bully before he cracks, attacking him in a blind rage and taking him down, to the relief (and cheers!) of all the other kids who have been the victims of this kid. (I won’t even go into the violence that another kid perpetuates on two adults in HOME ALONE. I thought it was funny the first time around, but on repeated viewings, I’ve found it completely over the top.)

My point here is that the movies (and television shows) we watch don’t encourage us to “use our words” to solve disputes. Far from it. Where’s the drama in that? Even Star Trek’s cerebral Jean-Luc Picard needs a Commander Riker to handle the action. With plenty of punches and phasers and so on.

We, as writers, are complicit in this culture, creating stories full of alpha males more than ready to protect mates and partners (even if they don’t ask for it), giving bullies and villains their just desserts in violent endings. We love our swashbuckling heroes and hissable villains. The possible legal, moral and ethical consequences of satisfying physical action are just complications that don’t fit a good story.

No matter what you might otherwise think of Will Smith’s action on Sunday night, it was quick and effective, as far as the story went. Perhaps if I was writing it, I might have had Will climb up on stage, put an arm around Chris’s shoulders and tell him, “Hey, man, that’s my wife right there. I love her and I’m going to ask you to treat her with respect, along with the millions of other women who share her disability. Be a man. Or I might have to come back and kick your ass.”

He would have left the stage to thunderous applause. And a happy-ever-after ending.

But, alas, Sunday night was real life, not one of my romance novels. So, Will and the rest of us will just have to live with the consequences of his action.

Cheers, Donna

*For a complete rundown on the Oscars ceremony, including more on the slap heard around the world, listen to my podcast on SoundCloud or on my podcast website mymoviehousemyrules.com