One rule to... er... rule them all #amwriting

On Facebook I belong to a number of different writers' groups. Recently, this meme was posted on one of them.

There is nothing more likely to have me doing expletives deleted than seeing a list of “thou shalts” telling prospective authors that this is how they have to do it. Especially with a famous name tagged on to the end. Don't get me wrong, GENERALLY speaking, I would agree that each of these points deserves consideration. But the only one that is really, absolutely, no-holds-barred, TRUE is number...

See if you can work it out.

I particularly object to the word NEVER in these 'rules'. Never is black and white. Let's look at the 'nevers' in this list.

Never open a book with weather

Really? "The wind howled. Lightning stabbed at the earth erratically, like an inefficient assassin. Thunder rolled back and forth across the dark, rain-lashed hills."
Opening words of Wyrd Sisters Terry Pratchett

Never use a word other than “said” to carry dialogue

In fact the current wisdom seems to be to avoid having to use a dialogue tag at all if you can. Let's face it, a page full of “he said” “she said” isn't too wonderful either. But back to 'said'. People like Anne McCaffrey happily use words like 'exclaimed', 'shouted', 'whispered' in her books. I don't think too many people threw them at the wall because of that. But it probably is wise to use such words sparingly.

Never use an adverb to modify said... he admonished gravely

At least he has a sense of humour, breaking #3 and #4 with a few strokes of his keyboard. I'll bet we can all cite examples of where a famous author has broken this “rule”.

Never use “suddenly” or “all hell broke loose”

I don't think I've read anything where all hell broke loose, but I suppose he's making the point the expression is overused. As for suddenly, it's a word. Maybe not the best word, but a word for all that. You might be able to find a better expression to show suddenness, but still, this is a recommendation, not a rule.

Okay, that's the 'nevers' taken care of. Now let's look at the others, starting with 'avoid', which is not quite so clear cut.

Avoid prologues

Best selling SF author Jack McDevitt almost always uses prologues. Sure, use them properly, not just to infodump background on the reader. And think long and hard before you add one. Personally, I dislike prologues. But I've written one myself. For excellent reasons.

Keep your exclamation points under control. You are allowed no more than two or three in 100,000 words of prose

Once again, I could point you at famous authors where that doesn't hold true. Try Terry Pratchett in Maskerade, where he uses the exclamation mark to convey a particular character's voice. That said, I remember reading a review of one of my stories written by a very young blogger. Just about every sentence ended in an exclamation mark, which rather ruined the purpose of that small piece of emphasis.

Use regional dialect, patois, sparingly

Guess what? Agreed. Too much regional accent can be hard to read. But have you read Wee Free Men? (TP again) It wouldn't be the same without the accent. I'm sure there are other examples.

Avoid detailed descriptions of characters

I don't describe (human) characters too much myself but I seem to recall authors writing YA are expected to do that because the readers want to know how to imagine the people. I think perhaps this 'rule' could have been expanded to add 'having the character describe him/herself while looking in a mirror' is overdone and might be best avoided. But if they're aliens, you'd best describe them because your reader needs to know what to imagine. It's all in how the describing is done. Rather than devoting a paragraph to a point-by-point description of the alien zzeeths, it might be possible to add tidbits here and there.

Don't go into great detail describing places and things

Sometimes a sketch is fine. Sometimes it's not. Detail can provide authenticity. Moreover, writing is subject to fashion. Dickens added excruciating detail, which is no longer fashionable - but then again, he was paid by the word. Mary Stewart's descriptions could become a little too long. But if you write SF and you don't provide a bit of detail you'll leave your reader floundering.

Try to leave out the parts that readers tend to skip

This is it folks, the one rule of writing that is the essence of the list.

There are certainly guidelines to consider, mistakes that others have made, overused tropes that may well jar your readers out of the story. That's what points one to nine are; guidelines. Nobody (except that poster up there) is saying you cannot do this, but it might be very wise to think about these things before you commit to publishing.

Oh - and don't believe everything you read on the internet. Probably including this article. Because, after all, it's just my point of view.