If you'd like to read my previous Six Sentence Sunday posts leading up to this one, click here.
For this week's installment of Six Sentence Sunday, I'm posting another excerpt from my Near Future SFR, The Outer Planets. In previous weeks, we met the heroine, Lissa Bruce and got a glimpse into her thoughts as she joined the Bradley mission and came face-to-face with the man she thought she'd left behind on Earth. With her identity and appearance changed, Mitch doesn't recognize her as the woman he loves--Jenae Bradley.
This week, we see things from Mitch's POV for the first time.
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Mitch stared down at his deck boots and puzzled over the new arrival as the lift carried him back to main deck. He’d never had a woman take such an instant dislike to him. Her body language said it all -- averted eyes, a hesitation to shake his hand, her strained words.
Still.
There was that something.
An intangible feeling that resonated on some deep level. Why?
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Psssst. Want to read more of this scene? Click here.
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Uh-oh! She's going to have to be very, very careful!
ReplyDeleteVery nice, I can feel his frustration! I don't know the rest of the story, but this definitely makes me want to read more.
ReplyDeleteOkay, so I had to read the rest. Poor guy. He's heartbroken. Wonder if he'll ever find out. Can't wait to read more.
ReplyDeletePerfect, griping lines. The unease Mitch feels is clear, the show that something's off with the woman who can't face him. Lovely excerpt, Laurie. Cant wait until Outer Planets hits the shelves.
ReplyDeleteI bet he had the feeling she'd love to have run - if she wasn't sitting in a spaceship! Very nice, Laurie.
ReplyDeleteNice snippet! Good job showing his feelings
ReplyDeleteLove this peek at Mitch. Especially having read the last few weeks in her POV. Great six!
ReplyDeleteThanks, everyone, for your great comments and feedback.
ReplyDeleteWow, you're early birds this morning! I better get busy. :)
@ Chrystalla. Hi! Good to see you join the SSS gang.
@ Arlene and Barbara. Thanks so much for all your input into this story. It's come a long way from the first draft. :)
@ Sarah. Thanks for returning to read more of The Outer Planets.
@ Jessica. Glad you were intrigued enough to read the rest of the except. :)
@ Pippa Jay and Sandra. Thanks for your comments.
I like the way you showed instead of told. I'd want to read more.
ReplyDeleteI feel for Mitch. I love his sensitivity
ReplyDeleteThis gets more and more interesting! I can't wait to see more!
ReplyDeletelol, you got me. Had to click for more. Great internal conflict.
ReplyDeleteWhy, indeed? Great hook!
ReplyDeleteI'm very intrigued! Great snippet. I'm already looking forward to reading more next week.
ReplyDeleteYou know I've got the habit of waiting for these sentences from Outer Planets each week, Laurie!
ReplyDeleteI love this!
@ Cate Thank you for reading on! Glad you liked it. Your six had the same effect on me. Had to go check out your trailer and casting call. :)
ReplyDelete@ Jayelkaye Mitch's sensitivity is a big part of his character. I call him an understated alpha.
@ Kaye Thanks so much. Really gives me a boost to hear you enjoy my work. :)
@ Lisa Fox and heatherthurmeier Thank you! Glad you want to read more. My snippet next week will put a bit of a spin on things. *evil grin*
@ Edie and Taryn -- Thanks for your comments. Glad you enjoyed my excerpt.
love a guy who can actually read body language
ReplyDelete@ Claire Oh, I agree. I think there's something very compelling about a very perceptive male. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your thoughts.
Oooh! Very nice.
ReplyDeleteLove his internal conflict...drawn to what he cannot yet identify.
ReplyDelete@ A.R. Norris. Thank you! :)
ReplyDelete@ Marsha A. Moore Oh yes, glad that was clear. His observations are clashing with his instincts.
I love this story, Laurie. Did you finishs the final tweaks?
ReplyDeleteohhh, very nice.
ReplyDeleteThe conflict this implies is fabulous! Looking forward to the next installment.
Oh, I love the way this is going. She hates him and he has no idea why. Poor guy.
ReplyDeleteLove the tension
ReplyDelete@ D L Jackson. Uh, not quite yet. It's become one of those "continuous loop" sorta things, but...getting closer to a full debug, I think.
ReplyDelete@ mariedees Not hate, just horrified resistance. LOL
@ Trish Thank you! It's been fun--and sometimes maddening--to write this twisted tale of star-crossed lovers. Or in their case, planet-crossed.
Oops, meant to also say "thanks" @D L Jackson and @mariedees for reading and commenting. I really appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteThanks to you @Alanna Coco
Had to click for more!
ReplyDeletePoor guy. I'm pulling for his HEA!
Thanks @Ella Drake.
ReplyDeleteLOL Well, it is SFR, so they'll have to reach that inevitable HEA. Or HFN or HUT (Happy Until Sequel). :)
Great hook. Can't wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteI can't get enough space adventure. Sounds great and I'll add this to my TBR list.
ReplyDeleteThank you. :) @ Emily Cale and GraylinFox
ReplyDeleteI love SFRs, I hope to see more of it.
ReplyDeleteHad to click for more. Love the setup and want to know what happens.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Can't wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteI love his uncertainty. Nice six!
ReplyDeleteIs he so sure she dislikes him? heh-heh! Great six!
ReplyDeleteawesome six! It's great to see his reaction. Do they get together again??
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