I've been looking through stock photo sites, looking for
pictures of a detective type couple. Folks, it is so damned depressing. It
seems illustrators and photographers around the world can't get their heads
around the fact that it's not a great idea to detect/fight/spy wearing slinky
ball gowns and stilettos. Or miniskirts and stilettos. Or a bikini and
stilettos. Try doing a search in a stock photo site for 'detective couple' or
'detective with gun'. Almost all the contributors seem to think that the poster
of the movie Mr and Mrs Smith is an accurate representation of what such a
couple should look like.
Sorry, dudes. No.
Have you guys ever tried running in a pair of high heels? I
have. Let me tell you, you end up with sore feet at best, a twisted ankle at
worst. And you're not fast. Which is why athletes tend not to wear stilettos
on the track. If you think chunky heels with platform soles are more effective –
sorry again. In shoes like that you lose any feeling of contact with the
ground. Another thing, have you tried, you know, sneaking around in those
shoes? You're already on tiptoe. It's hard to get any tippy-toeier. As for
climbing up walls and the like – forget it.
I ended up settling for a very good photo of a
detective-type couple. But as you can see from the photo, she's wearing a mini
skirt. Once again, dudes, have you tried climbing, or running, in a mini skirt?
Let's assume you're over the modesty thing, which has you clutching at the hem
every few minutes to pull it down. If you really want to run, you'd hoist the
thing up around your waist to give your legs room to stride. (assuming you've
divested yourself of the high heels). Skirts get in the way when you want to
get in a good kick, too.
And the long hair? Not good in a fight. Neither are dangly
earrings. They can be pulled, and it hurts.
Seriously, designers.
The lady on the right makes my head hurt. Would anyone in their right mind go into a fight dressed like that? What's she trying to do? Seduce the opposition? And what does she do with those two guns when she needs to - you know - pick something up? Or go to the loo?
