Start with the villain

In between bouts of beta reading I recently read Kristen Lamb's blog post entitled

Three Ways To Add the Sizzle to Fiction That’s Fizzled.

What she had to say resonated, especially this.

The more the reader is aware of what is at stake, the tighter we can wind the tension. Remember that fiction is the path of greatest resistance. 

The trick is to make the reader know what's at stake. One of the common ways of doing that is the ticking clock. If you don't defuse the body by midnight - KABLOOEY. Or one that's often used in movies, the villains steal a substance and one of them dies a horrible death so the viewers will see the outcome if the rescue fails. Or the dragon's on his way to devour the princess...

But it isn't always that easy and I was having trouble coming up with that sense of urgency, the prize that's at stake in WIP. (Still hasn't been given a better name). The conclusion I came to is to start with the villain. In that opening scene I can introduce what that individual wants. I suppose you might call it a prologue. But I'll be using the villain's POV in a few scenes to keep that impetus going, so I'll just call it Chapter One.

The only danger is that some readers don't appear to understand that the main characters don't know what the villain knows. Ah well. There's nothing I can do about that.

And since I have a long way to go with this book, I'll consider any suggestions people might have for making sure people know what's at stake. Anyone?

Two steps forward, one step back

http://depositphotos.com/29356353

Writing has some similarities to a soft shoe shuffle. There I was, bombing along with the WIP, when the pace fell off, I went on my trip to the outback, and I came home and re-read what I'd written. Now, the basic drive of the story is fine. Olivia's parents are missing somewhere Out There. She wants to find them and eventually discovers they've chased after something they found in an old book. But it got a bit messy. Why would they have done this? Wouldn't they have done that? Is this plausible? And um no, it's not.

So now I have to flesh out the back story from the missing parent's point of view. What happened? Where did they go? What did they see? What were they afraid of? Who knew? Who wanted to know?

When I've worked all that out, the story will flow again. And I'll have to do extensive revisions of the chapters I've already written. Oh well.

I did a little bit of looking around on the stock sites and bought the picture on the post. He looks a little bit young, but in the future we'll all be like that, able to retain our youthful good looks well into advanced age. Pity I'll miss out. Most of my leading men aren't model handsome. But this one is. And he's rich, and an admiral. And a womaniser.

Which brings me to another issue. Just today I saw a link to an article which explained that bad boys are just assholes. It's well worth a read, talking about the romance tropes where love changes the bad boy. This led into discussions about Donald Trump (doesn't everything) and alphaholes. Please remember the article on alphaholes is not meant to be taken too seriously, and I certainly recognised at least one of my admirals in the description. I want to make the point that in my opinion alphaholes are not bad boys - or at least not necessarily. The people described in the article about bad boys are just that - nasty men who brutalize women, and probably everyone else, to get their way. And I'm not just talking about physical violence. That's not at all the same as a strong person (male or female) who is a leader. Leaders by definition are not always nice. They can't afford to be. Sometimes they have to sack people, or if they're military officers, give orders that get others killed. That's how it goes.

Admiral Jackson Prentiss is an alphahole - a leader who is very good at his job, who has found through experience that ladies flock to him, and fleet personnel want to work on his ships. He's not perfect and he will find that the lovely Professor Olivia Jhutta is more than his match in some matters. I was chatting with him a little while ago, about mistakes.

"Everybody makes mistakes," he said. (He's in hospital with a broken rib, the result of an accident caused by someone else) "I'll recover fully from this. Olivia will suffer for a short time from a bruised ego. The difference is if I, as Admiral Prentiss, make a mistake, it could lead to the loss of a ship and all its complement, or bombardment of a city, or some sort of accident costing thousands, if not millions, of lives. The trouble is that very often doing nothing is the same as making a mistake." And that fact is what I find so fascinating about high ranking military officers, and why I like to write about them.

Admiral Prentiss will make his debut some time this year. Life, as always, gets in the way. I see more hospitals  and more travel in my crystal ball, but the book (still just entitled 'WIP') will get done. Then you'll be able to judge for yourselves.

Writing is fun again

The Pleiades open star cluster (Wikipedia)

I'm over 5,000 words into my new book, with the imaginative working title WIP. And guys, it is just a heap of fun.

Writing Eye of the Mother was hard work, getting the writer brain back into some sort of focus. I will go back and finish it some time, because I still feel it's a good story. But after some navel gazing, I decided to start afresh, go back to basics. I had a few ideas, but they needed to be fleshed out so I had at least a road map to where I wanted to go.

I bought the pdf (Holly Lisle's Create a Plot Clinic )some years ago - and I reckon it was one of the best investments I ever made. I've used it several times. It's chock full of practical ideas to make the muse come up with the goods. Soon I was scribbling notes (or as well as I can scribble on a keyboard). Then I just couldn't stop myself from starting to write. And it was fun. I was back in routine, using the last hour of the day to gaze at the setting sun and work out what was going to happen next, and answer those questions. Yes, but how do they find that out? What did her parents leave for her? Who else wants to know? etc etc

Anyway, at this point we have a professor of history with a little bit of OCD whose archaeologist parents have gone missing, a full-of-himself alphahole admiral, bubbling politics, and an open star cluster called the Maidens. A bit like the picture. It's another Ptorix Empire story.

And here's a little taste. Professor Olivia Jhutta is at an official reception to mark the visit of the Confederacy Fleet. She's been warned about womanizing Admiral Jackson Prentiss, but actually physically bumps into him at the function. He always has time for a good looking woman.

********

Jak accepted a drink and looked around him, evaluating the attendees. A few local military men, resplendent in their dress uniforms, dark blue pants and red jackets dripping with gold braid. Businessmen in black suits and colorful cummerbunds, many of them with trophy brides hanging off their arms. He circulated the room, smiling and chatting, the usual small talk when there's not much to do but be pleasant. A few women tried to catch his eye but he was in no mood to encourage adultery, and even less mood to be somebody's trophy for the night. Not unless something special turned up.

General Krenstein, commander of the local military, was in a corner, talking to a couple of Jak's senior officers. He'd better have a word with him, to show willing. As he moved through the crowd in that direction someone bumped into him. He gazed down into wide brown eyes flecked with gold.

"I'm so sorry," she murmured.

Tall, pale brown skin, dark hair hanging loose, a light blue dress that fitted her curves. Oh yes. Was she with someone? The man beside her registered on his implant. Chuk Lombardi, purveyor of trinkets and antiques. And the woman with him was…

"Not at all, Professor Jhutta. The room's crowded."

Her eyebrows arched, and then she smiled. "Recorded on your implant."

"It does make life easier." But no detail. Just a name and an occupation. God, these backward planets tried his patience.

She gestured at her companion. "Have you met Chuk?"

Jak inclined his head. "Mister Lombardi." The man was president of the independent trader's guild. Good luck with that in the current climate. Ormanov's machinations would have to worry Lombardi. But never mind, Jak's adjutant could find out about that, while he concentrated on the lovely lady in front of him.

"Um, will you be staying at Belledura for long, admiral?"

"Just a few days. And you?"

Her lips tightened. "A few months. I'm on leave from my university."

She was utterly delightful. Surely she wasn't married to this middle-aged bore who was glaring at him? "So you're not a local?"

He contacted his adjutant. "Mark, is the woman I'm talking to Lombardi's wife?"

"No."

"Good. Come and take him away."

"No. Well… I grew up here, but I work at Riewald University on Deloraine."

Mark arrived. "Excuse me, Mister Lombardi, if you have a minute, can you introduce me to a few of your members?"

Jak noted the eye contact between the man and the professor, almost as if she'd given him permission to leave. With a last sideways glare at Jak, Lombardi allowed himself to be diverted. Interesting. Back to the main game. "Riewald." He showed her he was impressed. He was. Riewald had a reputation for excellence. "What do you teach?"

"History. I specialize in Helicronia, but I also know a little about some of the older political systems that preceded the Confederacy."

"What can you tell me about Helicronia?"

She smiled and those golden flecks in her eyes lit up. "Oh, I could bore you for hours. First settlement by the faithful here on Belledura, establishment, expansion, the move to colonize other planets, the dynastic wars, rebellions, stagnation, decline." She chuckled. "I can see your eyes glazing over already. "Perhaps you can tell me about the Maidens?" She paused and her cheeks flushed. "I mean the star cluster."

Well, well. That was unexpected. Apart from the irritating rumblings on Belledura, the Maidens was why he was here. But she didn't need to know that. " Let me see… the cluster is about ten stellar units away, contains about a thousand stars, including many with planetary systems, and it's territory in dispute."

She cocked her head.

"The Ptorix also lay claim to the area."

"Ah. Why is that?"

"Because it sits between the borders of our established sovereignties. Neither of us has a settlement there, and neither of us will allow a settlement there."

"But you'll have heard the legends. About the Gh'ia."

Bless her heart. He couldn't help the chuckle. "Miss Jhutta, they're just stories to frighten children. We've found no trace of any space-faring giants anywhere, and neither have the Ptorix."

His aide spoke to him via his implant. "The Grand Plutarch is feeling a bit left out, sir."

"Yes, all right." Damn. His Eminence's timing was diabolical. But after all the opportunity to play 'mine's bigger than yours' with Ormanov was the main reason he'd agreed to attend.

"Professor, I would love to continue this discussion, but duty calls. Will you have dinner with me? Tomorrow evening?"

She was annoyed, those remarkable eyes narrowed. "Thank you. You're very kind, but no." She cocked an eyebrow. "I have b— other things to do. Goodnight."

She bolted. Grabbed… what was his name? Lombardi, by the arm and towed him out the door. Damn and blast. Fuck Ormanov. May he rot in the deepest pit of hell his confounded religion believed in. As he pasted on his official smile and walked toward the cleric, Jak contacted his adjutant. "Find out everything there is to know about the delightful Professor Jhutta. I want it by tomorrow morning."

"Yessir. It will be done." Did he detect a chuckle in Commander Bennett's reply? 

******************

There you go. All subject to change without notice, of course.  Gotta go. I's got a story to write. Oh - and Holly's little book is worth every cent of $10. You'll use it over and over again. 

Pippa's Journal - 6/27/12

Normally I try to post twice a month here, with one article and one journal. This will be a short extra. With a special event for the SFR Brigade just this weekend, I thought I'd post a few findings and results. But first...

To Infinity and Beyond.

So after 35 years the Voyager I space craft is leaving the solar system. With the space program shut down - except perhaps for commercial flights - and the shuttles sent off to new earthbound homes, it feels a little like the only extrasolar explorers are already on their way with nothing else to follow. But another lesser known space icon is also off to a new home.

The original full scale mockup of the space shuttle, seen here in 1974, will go on public display in California in July 2012.
CREDIT: NASA 

Built in 1972 and largely overlooked until recently, the model - built mostly from wood and plastic - is now set to have a permanent home thanks to the Columbia Memorial Space Center. It's also hoping to restore the model which is showing signs of degradation. Even with its later offspring now permanently grounded, it's good to know even the original model has a future. You can read the full article on it's rediscovery and history here.

The SFR Brigade Midsummer Blog Hop took place on Friday. There were a few technical issues - mainly with the inlinkz code - but everyone (bar one) had their post up and generally got a good response. Several gained new followers and the Brigade has also gained new members. A major technical problem was the disappearance of one link which unfortunately I missed. :( Over 1000 comments were made overall, with most people getting 30-40 comments on their individual posts.There's even been a suggestion of a solstice-themed sfr anthology for the future...
All in all, it was successful and a good experience. People have asked to do another. So, if anyone has a suggestion for a date and/or event/theme for the next, please feel free to shout out.For anyone interested in doing more hops while waiting for another Brigade event, please check out Carrie Ann Ryan's blog here. She regularly hosts blog hops on various themes and dates, and even has a Facebook page set up for them now.I'm taking part in the current Angels vs Demons Blog Hop - come and meet Keir and win an entry into the grand draw here!

With the blog hop over and the Amazon tagging parties now set to a monthly instead of weekly schedule, I'm diving back into the sea of writing and editing. The next week will be spent polishing my sfr novella Tethered for the Rebecca (entries close on the 30th June if you have a hankering to enter). On the 1st July I'll learn if Keir has made it into the finals for the Readers Favourite Reviews and Award Contest, having gained a 5 star review there recently. If it has, I'll also be entering Keir into EPIC's Ebook Awards contest - entries there close on the 15th July. I have edits to complete on Keir's sequel before submission, and planning to do for my August Campnanowrimo project. Having been a lifelong pantser, I've actually outlined the nanowrimo project - an experience in itself. I put out a cry for help via Twitter, and friend and fellow Lyrical Press Inc. author Sonya Clark came to my rescue with a handy post on plotting which you can find here. Misa Buckley has also just posted on this subject here and it's worth a read if you're a confirmed pantser. My first outline is a bit rough and ready, but at least I have one. :)

I've also decided to knuckle down and seek out some more reviews for Keir. Luckily fellow author and friend Lauri J Owen and I have spent the last year compiling a comprehensive lists of book reviewers. Originally we began this as a joint project because we knew how hard it was for authors to find reviewers, and also to help generate traffic to our blogs. We currently have over 235 listed in all genres, for indie and traditionally published writers, and now I'm benefitting in a whole new way as I use the list myself. Should you need a reviewer (and many of the reviewers listed also offer to host blog tours, giveaways, advertising, interviews and other promotional avenues) the list is here.

Ping Pong

Donna - loved the list of classics. Interesting to see what other people wanted added to the list. I wonder about a list of science fiction romance classics? The post on marketing was also interesting, since I think I already cover the basics that were listed. Sometimes I wonder what more there is to do - and how to stand out when everyone else is doing the same as well.
Laurie - I love the name, the badge and the motto for your Golden Hearts Class!
Sharon - as Laurie says, time is ticking down for Ghost Planet...