Also, a couple of public service announcements: *g* (What a week we've had!)
First a huge shout out to my CP and co-blogger, Sharon Lynn Fisher who just sold her two-time Golden Heart nominated Science Fiction Romance, GHOST PLANET, to Tor in a two-book deal. Congrats, Sharon!
AND...Spacefreighters Lounge is in the middle of a BIG 25,000 HIT CELEBRATION. We'll be drawing names from those who "Follow" this blog for some nifty prizes. We have books, t-shirts, a special mug, and even DVDs of the SF television series Defying Gravity and Done the Impossible: The Fans Tale of Firefly and Serenity. If interested, click the "Follow" button on the sidebar and check out the swag here. The celebration ends tonight and we'll start drawing names this week. Full details.
Now...on to the Six Sentences. :)
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SET-UP: MEET ELENA.
Lissa is being escorted to a hypersleep unit by med tech Elena Stevens, where she'll spend a year in hypersleep for the year-long journey to Jupiter. She discovers Mitch is in the next unit, already asleep.
______________________________________
Lissa's gaze moved down to the lieutenant's sculpture-worthy shoulders and tanned pecs. Polycon dog tags rested in the deep hollow of his breastbone. A thin blue band affixed across his chest monitored pulse and respiration. Sensors dotted the relaxed six-pack on his lower abdomen. Lissa’s attention swept lower before she realized her eyes were going AWOL.
“Caught ya starin’,” the med-tech teased.
lol great last line!
ReplyDeleteLOL. Like we all wouldn't check!
ReplyDeletelol! Excellent six, Laurie! How original for a first encounter - or have they met before?
ReplyDelete@Sandra Thanx!
ReplyDelete@graylinfox LOL :X
@Chrystalla Thanks! But, yes, they have met before, though Mitch (sleeping hunk) doesn't know that.
Laurie, as you know I love this story. These six really bring to life Lissa frustrations at remaining hidden, even from a man she has loved and loves.
ReplyDeleteLOL. Who wouldn't check him out? Yum!
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with starring ?
ReplyDeleteLovely blend of the science behind hypersleep and pure lust. Lissa has a wonderful image to dream about. Great show, Laurie.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like it would be really hard not to stare.
ReplyDeleteLOL-- as always, I love your six, Laurie! I'd stare too...!!
ReplyDeleteCongrats again for the 25k!
And gosh, I'm so happy for Sharon!
@DL Thanks, oh CP. It's really hard showing some of this six sentences at a time.
ReplyDelete@Sarah LOL Exactly!
@Sue Thanks. Do you have a link in SSS this week? Tell me which and I'll return the favor.
@Arlene Ah yes, sweet, but frustrated dreams all the way to Jupiter. Thanks for your comments, oh other CP. :)
@Eleri It was hard for me not to stare, too. *g*
@Kaye Thanks so much for your comment and for stopping by each week to read my excerpt. :) Yes, we're all so excited for Sharon. This was such HUGE news!
Fabulous description! Love the last line. It caught me by surprise as if I'd been the one caught staring. Great job!
ReplyDeleteNice!
ReplyDeleteREALLY enjoyed this!
ReplyDelete@JSubject Excellent! Thanks for your feedback.
ReplyDelete@Liana Brooks @Roberta Waker Thanks for stopping by and leaving your comments.
She's going to sleep with good dreams. And awake with one hell of an itch! :D
ReplyDeleteLove it, heh
Loved how 'her eyes were going AWOL'. That's a great line.
ReplyDeleteThanks @Misa Oh yes, her itch doesn't get better with time. LOL
ReplyDelete@Lindsay, thank you. I tried to work in military phrasing where I could--hopefully in some entertaining ways. :)
Oh, I just love the way you've described Mitch in sleep and the way Lissa is caught in the act!
ReplyDeleteHee! Love the parting shot.
ReplyDeleteLol! That is an awesome last line!
ReplyDeleteSuch a fun six! Your description piqued my interest too. Don't blame her a bit.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to Sharon too. Wow!
Off to check out the swag...
@Tarynn @Susana @Lisa Thanks so much for your thoughts and comments. You guys make my date.
ReplyDelete@Cate Thank you, thank you. And yes, isn't Sharon's news incredible! Can't wait until her novel comes out. Thanks for checking out our swag. It's an eclectic list, though somewhat SFR slanted. :)
Uh. Make that @Taryn @Susanna
ReplyDeleteI blame that shipjumping "n" Nothing to do with the time change. Really. :]
Very smooth writing. You've got serious talent.
ReplyDeleteThank you SO much, Lauri! :D
ReplyDeleteWriting Army mysteries I'm always on the prowl for interesting phrasing and that one is one of the best I've ever read. Almost wish I'd used it
ReplyDelete@Lindsay. Thank you. I've lived and breathed Army/National Guard for a long time. My DH is a retired LTC and I've had a 15 year career (so far) in civilian support for the military. This gave me some great dialogue for my Combined Joint Task Force crew.
ReplyDeleteMy hero in this story actually says "Huah." I have another character explain it means HUA--Heard, Understood and Acknowledged. It's ometimes seen as 'Hooah' but the pronunciation has been shortened so it sounds more like Hwah.
The characters also use other military acronyms including a few I invented, like MAP--Mission Assignment Parameters.
I just love a man in a uniform...especially when he's not wearing it. Great six!
ReplyDelete@Christine LOL That's a great line! Thanks for your comment. :)
ReplyDeleteAWOL. I love it
ReplyDeleteNow he just sounds delish. Who wouldn't stare?
ReplyDeleteGreat six! And frankly, I'd look too judging by that description. :)
ReplyDelete@ Jayel, Ella and Pippa
ReplyDeleteGlad you can appreciate Lissa's situation. *g* Thanks for stopping by!